Just today

Who knows what mysteries lurk deep in the heart of a writer, therapist, paramedic, accountant nerd. I sure don't. The more I dive into the mysteries of my clients, the more I realize what little I know about myself.

I've been busily studying Imago Relationship Therapy with it's theory of unconscious desires and expectations people have of each other. Sometimes I think it's a miracle that anyone stays together ever!

So what's going on in the inaccessible portion of MY brain?

Don't know so I guess I'll focus on the fact that spring is actually here with summer not far behind.  This place (North Idaho) dramatically transforms in the summer to a kind of paradise. I takes an annual long hard winter once a year to see and appreciate that.

This last winter was one of the toughest I'v ever waded through so I'm really looking forward to the changes warm weather may bring.

The Room With Many Windows

It was our TV room.  The focal point was a 1959 Zenith portable black and white TV that had the annoying habit of losing its vertical hold thus making the picture flip over and over, making it un-watchable until someone got up to play with the “vertical hold dial” until it became stable.  The TV sat on a low table and was next to the door that led out into the back yard that was filled with the promise of adventure in the woods and undiscovered neighborhoods. A giant maroon couch sat opposite; somehow garnered from my grandparents.  I remember it being big enough to hold myself along with two brothers and two sisters.

One wall was filled with double-pane windows, each of which opened with a crank.  I once broke one of those expensive windows with a championship-like 3 wood from the far reaches of the back yard.  It seemed impossible that the house was at risk at that distance, but my 7 year old brain was wrong.

Along the opposite wall were light colored wood bookshelves with cabinets beneath which contained my entire collection of toys including beloved GI Joes and a matchbox car collection.  One shelf contained a dark red and blue World Book Encyclopedia circa 1950 or so.  Many a school assignment was completed using that particular resource.  An encyclopedia scent would emanate from pages that had maybe never been opened before. The more often visited pages smelled of peanut butter and jelly.

Next to those book shelves was the best part of the room.  It was a traditional single hung sash pane window that opened to…not the great outdoors…but the living room.  Yes, an outside window stood inexplicably between our TV room and the living room. I used to open it every once in a while just because I could and I thought it was really cool.

I was probably 30 before it occurred to me to ask my father about the window.  He told me when the house was being built the TV room was meant to be a screened porch and he changed his mind and asked for a regular room.  The contractor told him the window was already framed and my dad said “What the hell, leave it in.” That made it even more cool.